I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
