Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
