I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize