i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
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so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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