One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
