Duck Duck Cougar?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
