How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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