You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
