We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
