I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it's like iHOP with fire
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
