apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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