We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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