So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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