i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize