We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
