Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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