Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
