I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
