well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
