so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize