i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
