So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
