FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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