At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
