i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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