Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
