when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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