yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
