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• (561): View more from Florida

  Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Missed another period

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.

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• (916): View more from California

  I can already almost taste penis in my mouth

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.

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