i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
