Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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