So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
