You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
