Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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