Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
