Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
