I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
