So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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