Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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