Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
