That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
