You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
