He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
