my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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