Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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