If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
