its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
