Just fell off a train. Bad.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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