At least make sure they are 18
Why
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
