Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
