He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
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At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
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A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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