I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
