so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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