And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
