Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is it penis luge time yet?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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