Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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