I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
