on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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