I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
