i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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