I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
