Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
