Your mouth is God's brothel.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.