How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
